Don't Fall In Love
by TheRawrinator
Summary: I never meant to fall in love. Especially not with a jerk like him. I never meant to fall in love, I knew it would be the end of me. I knew that it would cause the worst amount of pain. I just knew.
1. Chapter 1

"_Amu, you should always stay by my side." The familiar blue haired male said. "I just don't want you to leave me."_

_I backed up, my hands slowly moved to my face. "I-I… I don't know what to say."_

_His fingers moved to my lips as he slowly bent over and brought our lips so that they were touching, only if it was a slight touch. _

"_Just tell me that you'll be mine." he whispered softly before closing the distance between us._

I jerked myself awake. God damn… These dreams were really starting to get familiar and I wasn't aware as to how and stop them. Actually, I didn't even know who that male was. He just appeared in my dreams, almost as if he never had anything better to do with his life besides creep inside of my silly dreams. I paused, a headache was slowly forming from the sudden movement of waking up. Perhaps sleeping it off would help. That's what they always told you to do in those magazines, right? I closed my eyes, not looking at the time. Not even thinking about the time.

There was a small creaking noise, but I ignored it. There were always creaks in this old god damned house. It wasn't anything new. So, I just figured my mother was getting up and waking Ami. Perhaps they'd leave me be for the time being.

Nope. That didn't work out to well. My little sister was jumping on my side, screaming for me to get up. Her silly mistakes when saying words made me angry. Of course, the jumping on the sides only caused me more pain in the world known as migraines. I pushed her off of my bed, not caring when a little owie came out of her small mouth. Why can't they just let me be for a few fucking minutes? It's not like I'm the only one in this house that needed to be waken. I'm sure dad would have to be forced up as well.

My mother called for me as I slowly got up. Her soft voice filled the room. It made my head hurt worse. Her stupid soft voice was almost unnatural and unholy to me. "Amu. Dear. You need to get up. If you don't, you might end up being late for school We don't want that to happen. Not on the first day of school. Besides, I'm sure you'll make friends at this school. You will have plenty of friends to share memories with. This is the one. This school will be the one where you make more than enough friends to last you a life time."

I sighed at this though. My voice was still hazy from sleep and my eyes were slightly glazed over, but I knew this wasn't true. I knew this was all a lie. I called back to her softly with a small, "Yeah right."

I hurried to get dressed, pushing the ever so hyper Ami out of my room. This school outfit sucked ass. The skirt was a terrible shade of red and the top was just horrible. I'd have to put my own personal touch to it. Not like there was any real rule about this. Not like I haven't done this in my other schools. Not like I haven't once been kicked out of school for not listening. Not like I have any friends….

Friends.

That word that only sounded so awkward in my ears. The word that I wish I could know better but knew I never could. It was a terrible word. An unholy word that I could never know.

By now my brain was aching like crazy. Stupid fucking Ami. She just had to make it worse. I noted my mom cooking breakfast and Ami sitting there, cheering for the oncoming food. Great. I knew I would have to find the medicine though. If I didn't, then I would be screwed all day. I looked through the cupboards. No luck. I looked in the bathroom. Still nothing. Finally, I did what I didn't want to. Something that was my last resort. I asked my mother.

"Hey, Mom?"

She answered with a slight moan of not wanting to actually answer. "Do we have anything for a migraine?"

She shook her head and returned to fixing up the food. I sighed. "Fuck…"

She snapped her head at me. "Amu! Watch your tongue."

I flicked her off as a final answer and walked out the door. If I had to have a headache all day, I did not want her making my day worse than what it already had to be. Of course, any day in school would be a horrible day. And, it just had to be a Saturday. Damn it. Why did school have to be six days a week? Why couldn't things be more like, I don't know, one day a week. Or preferably never. I watched my surroundings ever so slightly. The people with such solemn looks on their faces. It was so depressing. Each adult with no life. Each adult that spent all their days working. It was obvious. It was written on their faces. None of them could understand what it meant to be depressed or how to have fun. Work was all that they knew at this point.

Each person had their own identity. There was the occasional rocker. Or the always working man. I just scoped my surroundings. That's when it hit me. A face of being content. A tall male with the blue hair and… he looked exactly like the person from my dreams. The person that was always there. It was hard to read him. I couldn't even tell his age. He was tall enough where I wasn't sure if he was even a teenager. Of course, I couldn't tell by his face and look. He was obviously wearing a school uniform for it was so nicely made yet so lazy. Like there was nothing worth working on.

I found that I had stopped walking and that I was just staring at his as he walked on by. "Why? Why can't I regain myself?"

He heard my voice and looked over. I could feel my face turn red. The heat rushing up to my face. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. A slight smile appeared on his face. Almost as if he knew me from before. He was so beautiful. I just couldn't bring myself to look away. That sad look that sat on his face even if he smiled. It was just so nice. Almost as if he knew the pain that I did.

But then I realized that he wasn't even looking at me. The heat increasing. He was looking behind me to someone who was probably his age. This other tall male looked down at me, if only for a moment. He yelled at the other and pointed my look out. "Who is that girl? A stalker?"

The blue haired boy chuckled. His voice was soft enough where I almost couldn't make out as to what he was saying. But it was quite obvious. "I don't know. Perhaps she's some sort of pervert?"

He said this as his eyes lifted and looked over at me, his smile increasing. My face turned redder. I wanted to scream at him. I was going to scream. "I am not a pervert, you perverted cat!"

I could hear his laughter as I stomped off. Perverted cat? What was I, five? No. This wasn't like me. This was just an outside cover. No one could know the real me. Not even my parents. Of course that pervert had caught my attention and I almost flipped shit. This so wasn't like me. I could still hear their laughter. My stomping slowly got faster. And soon it was more of a running then anything. I was running. Running away from the male in my dreams. Running away from reality.

Running away with full force, I could feel the tears coming on. I didn't want to cry. I didn't need to. I just knew the tears were forming. But I could never let them fall. Not in a million years. They were just something I needed to shed so that I could feel my senses once more. This pain. This pain that only I knew to be true. It was terrible. Hideous, like me.

Bu the time I reached school, I was already running late by probably three or four minutes. I sighed heavily. Every student was in the class, but the teacher wasn't. I looked in cautiously. All these people, they looked like preppy people. Not the kind that I would associate with. Then again, I would never associate with anyone that wasn't a loner, like myself. Therefore, I never had friends. It didn't bother me, I mean, it would probably be nice to have friends. Probably. I wouldn't know.

I could feel a presence behind me. A tall person, probably male. I turned around quickly. Of course, I was write. The man stood there smiling, his messy brown hair was fairly long and mostly covered his glasses that hung silently on the bridge of his nose. He opened his mouth to speak. "You much be our new student. Himamori, was it?"

"Hinamore." I said back, emphasizing the Hina part. It's so annoying when people can't pronounce your name. "And yes. I am the new student."

He smile broaden. "Well, if you'll just wait here until I call you in to introduce you. That would be lovely."

I sighed softly and nodded.

He entered the room, all the kids stood for him, a normal entrance. I couldn't hear him outside, but it was clear as to his intention when he held his hand out to the door. I opened it slowly and stepped inside. I could hear whispers start already. Something about how cool I was. Or my hair color. Then I realized why they were staring so much. They were waiting for me to say something. "… Where do I sit?"

Everyone gasped. A normal reaction. My eyes hazed over to a seat before it was pointed out. A window seat. I walked lazily over and set my stuff down, staring out the large and bright window. I could still hear whispers go on even though the stupid teacher who couldn't pronounce my name was talking. I ignored them all. Even the little notes that were set on my desk by the same girl each time because it was just easier that way talking about me. I just stared out the window. Not a care in the world. Or so it would seem. Secretly, I was screaming on the inside for being so lame with that entrance. It slowly became harder for me to ignore the gaining notes on my desk and I looked them over. Opening each slowly and reading.

They all said something among the lines of "Hello, Himamori." Or something close to it.

I wanted to smack these kids. Nothing made me madder than the people who cannot figure out a simple name.

I stood up and slowly walked out of the room. Not caring when the teacher tried to stop me. Not caring while the kids gasped. I walked down the hall and out of the school. It was obvious I'd end up with a detention for this. But I just didn't care. I kept walking. Walking until a found a nice place to rest. A nice place where I could be myself. I climbed the calm tree and pulled out a book. I was reading Shakespear's "Othello." I was already half way through it. It was certainly one of my favorite books. Or, well, plays. I mean, who doesn't love a story about love, deception, death, and even ignorance. It was surely one of the best plays I've managed to read in a while.

I must have been up there for because before I knew it, there were kids in school uniforms everywhere. It didn't stop my reading. But the noise was unbearable. They were so loud. And their conversations were stupid. No one honestly cares about what they did over their weekend or their lunch. They just wanted to know someone was listening. They were already halfway to becoming like the adults of this world.

It wasn't long until they all disappeared and there wasn't any one left. No one to bother me. All by myself. Again. A warm liquid ran down my cheek. My book fell from my hand and I swore lightly as I reached to stop the tears I knew would form if I didn't stop them now. A soft, large hand grabbed my wrist before I could stop my tears though.

"Do you always cry at such silly things, perverted little kid." An extremely warm and scary voice said.

I looked over, surprised to see the blue haired boy from earlier, in my tree. I shot back, forgetting that the tree branch wasn't that big. I started to fall backwards as more tears streamed down.

I was expecting a hard landing, knowing that I would land on the hard ground. And yet, it was fairly soft. I had to be dead. A landing that soft meant that I was dead. But I was too scared to open up my eyes. Too scared to take that chance. I heard laughter. "Yeah. Nice to see you too. Now, open your eyes."

I shook my head.

"Open them or you will regret it."

I continued to decline his offer.

"Then I'll just have to kiss you." There was a melancholic tone to his voice.

My eyes shot open. "Pervert!"

He chuckled warmly. "There, now was that so hard?"

I stuttered across words. Heat running to my face. I looked to the ground and back up. He had gone down the tree faster than me and had himself set where I could hand softly. I was sitting on this tummy. More heat. I looked up at his face and stared slightly. There was no sign of pain. Yet he had to be feeling some. That hard of a fall surely would have caused some. A slight smile covered his face. It was creepy and sad, but so beautiful. His eyes were of a more blue violet. Not something you'd be able to tell from far. And his hair was super messy, probably from the catch.

I hurriedly got off of his and grabbed my stuff before I got up and started to run down the street. That fucker caught me when I was falling. He put his arms around me and I didn't even notice. God damn him.

I stomped into our house and into my room. I threw my bad across the room and changed quickly before throwing myself onto my bed. That boy who pissed me off. What was his problem, anyways? Did he just adore picking on girls like me. Creeping on them until they fall out of the tree they were just resting in, then catching them. Making perverted comments. Making me want to kill. God did he make me so mad.

But he had such a soft expression. It was so sad. Almost as if he was actually feeling like me. Knowing that not even your family loves you. I wonder if he feels the same. I wonder if he knows that his family hates him. But it's none of my business.

A few hours passed before I just happened to fall asleep on my bed. I slept calmly. For once, I didn't dream about that blue haired boy. I didn't dream at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo. It's TheRawrinator. I know I didn't introduce myself or anything in the first chapter. But here I go. Um... there really isn't anything I have to say. :D But I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. This one is a little shorter and does start o****ff in Amu-Chan's point of view just like the the first chapter. It's a bit shorter... obviously. But whatever. I don't own Shugo Chara. I just love it enough to write a story. I hope you guys enjoy it. **

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't help but look around the house. No one was there. My dad wasn't in bed still, mom wasn't in the kitchen. Even Ami was gone. I thought nothing of it. Mostly because of the note that was left for me on the table. It read:<p>

_Dearest Amu,_

_Sorry we had to leave so soon. You looked so peaceful while sleeping I didn't want to wake you. Ami and I went out shopping and your dad is already at work. Enjoy your Sunday. Go out and play with your little friends. I love you._

_Love,_

_Mom_

I laughed at it. The bull shit that was in it. That little _I love you._ was total b.s. But if they weren't here, it did mean I could do so much. I could do the girly things I never did due to my punk goth outside look my mother gave me.

I could paint my nails in any part of the house and not get yelled at. Or even eat all the ice cream. Yes. That sounded like a good plan. I'd get changed and go out for ice cream. It's a plan. It's a date, if only with myself.

After getting dressed in my black and white stripped shirt with some black shorts, I grabbed my little gothic baby rabbit hat and gloves and ran out the door with some money in my pocket. Might as well do some site seeing this town if I honestly had to live here a while.

I have to admit, this town isn't half bad. The buildings were close but not too close to be uncomfortable. There were enough places for rest and definitely enough places for me to hide when I needed to. Of course, I saw probably only two ice cream places. All of which were crowded so I skipped out on going to them.

I just spent my time walking. No one was bothering me. And I wasn't bothering them. They were all so lame anyways. There was no point.

I sighed as I continued walking down the street. It was already after three and I had nothing to do. I could try to text someone on my phone if I had any numbers. I'd have numbers if I had friends. I'd have friends if I wasn't such a loner. I wouldn't be a loner if people weren't so stupid.

"Yo." A familiar voice said from behind me.

I turned quickly and could feel the heat rush up to my face but hid it quick with an angry face.

"Don't make that face." The blue haired boy said quickly. "You'd look so much better if you'd just smile."

"I don't smile." I said replied and turned away.

I started to walk away.

"Stupid perverted cat. Why doesn't he just go die?" I mumbled to myself. Though clearly loud enough for him to die.

"Oh? You want me to leave you alone? Why is that? Because I'm interested in you?" He questioned. "Fine. I'll just leave then."

I turned to look at him, but he was already gone.

I rushed to find a place for ice cream and got my favorite of chocolate and hurried home. God damn. He was just so annoying. Why did he always find me? Why did I know him? What was so interesting about me anyways?

"Whatever." I reached into my pocket to grab my phone and check the time. Yet no matter how far my hand reached into the small pocket. And no matter how many time I looked again, it wasn't there. My phone wasn't in my pocket.

Half of me told me to go back to where I had last seen _him_ and seach. The other half just told me to say "fuck it."

In the end, I went to get the phone anyways. I searched behind a bush and behind a tree. But no matter where I looked, I couldn't find it. The damned thing had gone missing and my mother would be pissed off if she found out that she had to get me a brand new phone because I some how managed to lose this one. Maybe that boy took it. That would be funny. I could blame him. I smirked.

Wait! God damn. When had I started thinking about him? Damn it. I smacked myself to stop the thoughts and gave up. I'd have to go home for now. Someone was bound to be there by now. And they were probably wondering where I had gone. Pfft.

^^^ Ikuto's PV ^^^

I couldn't help but chuckle as the pink haired girl looked around for me. If it only took that much to spark interest in her then this would be a fun project for me. I watched the little girl run off and waited before I was sure she was absolutely gone before I got down out of the tree I was hiding in.

I had ditched my friend as soon as I saw here. This girl who only seemed familiar. But I had never met her. I started to walk, only stopped when it felt like something hard was under my foot. Sure enough, there was something. I picked it up. It was a little phone of pink with black X's on it. It had to belong to the girl.

I recognized it as the girl's. She was holding it, mumbling something about friends before I stopped her. She must have dropped it when that happened. I turned it on and looked through it.

No contacts other than her mother and father. Just a black background filled with strawberries for a main wallpaper. No internet access. Nothing. God was this girl suddenly boring. Of course she had to have friends. Maybe they just didn't have phones? Whatever.

I put it in my pocket and walked away. I'd have to return it next time I saw her. That would be the right thing. The gentleman thing. I laughed. "I'm no gentleman. I'm going to hold onto this phone. I'll torture her with it if I have to."

I thought about it a little and held it up to my face while walking. "... Of course I don't want to cause her pain. As far as I'm concerned, this girl could be killing herself over this thing."

I gave a look to the people staring because of me, a male, holding a pink phone. "Whatever."


	3. Chapter 3

I laughed while walking to school. So her name was Amu. For some reason it didn't feel like it fit her. She should have been named "Little Strawberry" or something like that. Maybe if I got to know her, her name would fit. But it definitely didn't at the moment. Not that it matter. Of course it didn't matter. She wasn't someone that mattered to me. Just someone I wanted to mess with. Just a short child. I threw her phone into my bag, scoping the scene to find her. Perhaps I'd see her.

I found myself, almost hoping that she'd show up. This little girl that I only currently wanted to get closer to. The girl I wanted to know more about.

Wait. Fuck. This wasn't about her. This was about me entertaining myself. She was just a tool. She is just a tool. Nothing more. Nothing less. This little pink haired girl would pay for even existing in this world. She will pay for living. Like the adults that live. Like the children in this world. She is just like them. Nothing. Just an unimportant person in this world.

"Shit!" I yelled, realizing that I was focusing on her once more.

I looked around, expecting to see this little Amu to pop out and be yelling at me about her phone. "Where the hell is she?"

*** Amu's PV ***

I woke up with a slight ease. My head hurt. My nose hurt. I hurt. I climbed slowly out of the bed I currently laid in. A red nose punctured the scene. The mess I called hair was spread out well and in unorganized places. My eyes were red and itchy, one being slightly swollen. I could feel the scratchiness of my skin pile up before I looked and realized that I had poison icy. Not to mention a head cold. I tried to speak but it only came out as a slightly bit of mumbles. My brain didn't want to work and my voice was harsh in sounding.

I brought myself down the stairs to where my mother should have been. The moment she saw my icky situation she told me to go back to bed. I swore softly, not realizing how loud I was actually being and exited the room. I could hear her call back at me about my "swearing issue." It's not an issue. It's nothing. Nothing. They didn't love me. So why should I listen to them? Their lives were meaningless. Like every other adult. They knew nothing.

Nothing.

I knew nothing. Nothing on living. Nothing on cooking. I knew nothing about myself. I didn't know what I wanted. I was just as bad as them. I couldn't feel or hear or have fun. I was just like them in every way. I couldn't do anything. I was just like them.

No.

I am worse than them. They can at least accomplish some things. I can't do anything. I was more worthless then them. More worthless then anyone. More worthless. I am worthless. I'm worthless. Worthless…

I slide back under the covers of my bed and hid there until I was sure that no one else was here. No one else was here to hear my screams of sorrow and pain. I pulled out my familiar blade. Not even it was my friend. I held the bloodied thing on my skin and slid it as fast and as hard as I could. A small shriek flew. The first cut always hurt worst.. The rest was just small reminisces of the first. I smile softly from the pain. Blood poured out slowly, it wasn't a deep enough cut. I slid it fast again, remembering the last time I had done this. This was nothing compared to that time. My memory floods with the thoughts of that scene. That night when my mother realized my pain.

I was crying with all my might. The blood had poured a lot faster than I thought it would. This was the night I found out as to how weak I actually was. My mind was tattered and the blood had poured. This was actually the first time I had brought myself to cut. The first and last time. I was already loosing too much blood.

By the time they found me, I was unconscious. My parents cried to themselves. Though it was fake. Anyone with half a brain could have seen that. They were only crying because I hadn't actually killed myself. I was stuck in the hospital with medication, alive. I got the pleasure of causing self inflicted pain. What did they get? They got a daughter who can't even kill herself. The most worthless thing ever.

I smile struck my face as I put my blade back under by bed and wrapped up the still slightly bleeding cuts. My mind cleared of all thoughts as I laid my head down upon my pillows.

^^^ Ikuto's PV ^^^

Her stupid phone wouldn't stop ringing throughout the school day. All calls being from her mother. Probably just to check up on her. Either her mother was the type of person who always checked up on her children, or the type of mother that just wants to get her child in trouble.

Either way was fine by me. Mostly because the first time it had rung, I left class and just walked out of school. If I was going to have to listen to this thing, then it would be in school. It would have to be else where. Maybe I could creep down to her house. It wouldn't be the first time I was there. That first day of meeting her, I managed to follow her without getting noticed. Only because I wanted to see her house. Just in case.

I looked into the big glass doors that separated her from the outside world. It was a little hard to see at first due to some curtains blocking the view, but eventually I got a good look. All I really needed to see was where she was. Perhaps she wasn't even here.

But then I saw her. She was laying in her bed. Red had surrounded her. It wasn't too much red substance. But just enough for me to notice it on her blankets. She was too young for anything mature with blood. So obviously something else had happened. She was asleep there. I could easily sneak in. As I had once found out, she never kept this thing locked.

I opened the door slightly and slid in with ease. I wasn't about to bother with closing it in case I had to make a fast get away. I moved closer, noticing the bandages on her wrists and several other places. The room had a strong scent of blood. It was almost sickening as to how strong it was. I crept a little closer, now kneeling at the side of her bed.

I small blade was next to her bed and I couldn't resist picking up the rusted object. It had fresh blood marks on it. I sighed. Clearly this girl had some real issues if she was already cutting her wrists at this age.

I looked down at her small face. The perfect lines of her lips just laid there. I scanned her face. A small hint of pink flashed across her face. This was from the blood lose, but it was cute. A few stands of hair dangled around her face, I fought against the urge to fix it, but failed. I moved the hair behind her ear. Her small, perfectly rounded ear. I leaned in closer. My eyes trailed down to her lips. The softness of them showed on the peach shading.

A little closer.

Her cheeks were stained with tears. I leaned in even closer. A few tears fell. I couldn't let tears fall. I stuck out my tongue and let the tears touch them. The saltiness was almost delicious.

I stood up, looking about the pink and black room. "This girl... no... Amu... has some pretty weird taste."

I heard a little movement, figuring she was just shifting positions. However, I wasn't aware of how wide awake she had been the entire time. That is, until a soft voice called out. "... Perverted cat?"

_**My Notes!**_

_**Hello everyone! I hope you guys have been enjoying the first and second chapter. I haven't been wasting any time writing this. NONE! Because I know all too well that as soon as I stop writing for one moment, I'll completely forget about the story and it'll never finish. OTL But here it is! I don't really know how long I want this to last. But I do know my point of it. I know exactly what I am trying to get at here. So please be patient in my writing orz I know it's not that great. But I at least try. ANYWAYS! Please leave a comment. Suggestions on what I could do to improve would be wonderful as well! Look forward to my next chapter. In the next chapter, a promise is made!**_


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